Having suicidal thoughts is like hanging on at the edge of the cliff for your dear life. Not everyone can see what you are going through unless they try to find you, and not all those who see will try to help you. In fact, with society nowadays, people would prefer to talk about you than to actually talk to you. They are standing on their two feet while you're hanging with the strength of your two hands, you're different to them. You know the best, because I believe you have tried, that accepting this difference is the hardest thing for both sides.

I mean, you don't even want to be here, hanging by the edge of the cliff. I mean, who would want to from the start? Everyone wants to stand up on their own two feet, I believe. But, you can't do that, you don't have the strength to get up on your own so you just kept hanging with all the strength you have left inside. People will say "just wake up from it already, it's just a phase" or "stop being so full of drama, everyone has problems". Well, I'll tell you what, we wouldn't even ask for your help if we didn't need it from the start. Also, don't even say "hang in there", this wouldn't help at all. I mean, imagine you're seeing someone about to fall and you just went and like "hang in there!" No, it wouldn't help at all, instead reach out your arms for them, that will help like a lot.

Funnier thing is, finding someone just like you, both hanging on the edge of a cliff. It's easy, I mean, just look for the same lifeless eyes like the ones you have. Sometimes you might think that "hanging" out with them will only worsen your condition, but no. What you don't understand is, it's better to be hanging on with someone else, sharing all the strength you have left inside even if you know you'll gonna end up falling for that. Because, someday they might actually get up and stand their own two feet, and they will (don't ask me why I'm so sure about this) help you stand on your own two feet too. A friend in need, is a friend indeed. Carry on, besties.

enifton maion,

Andri Kurniawan