A Change of Heart


I have felt it all. Every day feels like I’m not alive, just counting the days left for me to leave this world. Hatred, envy, pain, and sorrow... what difference it will make to show them. A smile is never more than a face to put on, being all nice makes me sick of it sometimes, but that’s all I can do to keep every other soul happy at least. Well, it’s better to fake a smile all the time than to show my true feelings to everybody that will not care a bit.

It’s better if I don’t know my parents than having a family that didn’t want me like this, it’s heavier to be an unwanted child. Nobody will ever understand, they’re just gonna care to what’s important for them, and I’m not precious to anybody. If somebody does care, they should have seen it in my eyes already, but they’re just all talk and no different.

It hurts real badly, to do something you never agreed to do... just so you can eat for today, you can take another breath, to keep on living a life you didn’t want to have anymore. I never ask to be chosen, I just want to live a normal girl’s life, with just my real mother and my sister...

I created this land, where everyone can live evenly happy. Those who work hard will earn what they want, nobody will be born rich nor poor. But I know it was impossible from the beginning, this kind of life will just end up as another dream. And I end up trapped here, inside the world that I alone have created. Crying for tears that will not reach the earth forever.

But I know I’m not the only dreamer. I hope someone will save me from this land I created, and sees through my eyes that I’m not okay deep inside this smile. I am not alone. A land will rise above hopes and dreams, where everyone can live evenly happy, not to smile when they don’t want to. But I can’t return to the reality now, not after I betrayed everybody when I left. I just wanted to be alone now.

a voice of a new land song,
Luca Trulyworth

You Might Also Like


Popular Posts

Try These

The Alchemist
Veronika Decides to Die
The Zahir
The Pilgrimage
Winter in Tokyo
Autumn in Paris
Summer in Seoul
Sunshine Becomes You
Spring in London
Madre: Kumpulan Cerita
Perahu Kertas
Supernova: Ksatria, Puteri, dan Bintang Jatuh
Filosofi Kopi: Kumpulan Cerita dan Prosa Satu Dekade
The Lightning Thief
The Battle of the Labyrinth
The Sea of Monsters
The Last Olympian
The Lost Hero

Andri Kurniawan's favorite books »